important note
pretty much all of the text here (and on anything in the snippets folder) is not mine. i either took notes based on what i gathered from them or copy-pasted them verbatim from a thread or article.
stuff i was able to find is sourced below the quote they are attached to.
doing what you like
I think “what do you want” is almost like “what fulfills you”. Working towards fulfilling things probably gives a clear sense of direction.
– ayther, though i’m pretty sure i saw this on twitter first?
deciding what you want to do is often less about “figuring things out” and more about a careful attention to what already feels energizing for you
When I was 26, I wanted to be a successful YA novelist. … If I had stopped to think about why I wanted this so badly, I might’ve understood that what I actually loved about writing was (and is!) making gifts for people using written language, to make stories that will help people. I might’ve even written better books.
- interrogate what you want and why you want it
just fucking do it
the time will pass anyway
“do i deserve this” “am i worthy of this” so irrelevant. do you want it?
ideas are easy. anyone can have them. what can you show for your ideas?
when we deliberate over a decision for a long time, we often end up getting attached to both options – so there is loss no matter what we decide
Instead of saying “you have to practice to get better”, I’ve got an aerials instructor who says “whatever you do is what you’ll get better at”.
– eatnik
do anything seriously 5 times a week for a year straight and see all the great things it brings you
you want to be doing lots of things but it would be ass if you tried to do them all together. you have to break them into pieces.
- satisfice and pick anything that makes a decent amount of sense to do, ideally something not too difficult or overwhelming
- while you’re doing it, notice what you’d rather be doing. THAT’s the thing
– visakanv
starting
life gets so much better after you accept that the beginning of anything ever is going to suck a little bit but will ultimately be worth it (for example-most pilot episodes/first seasons, starting a new exercise routine, doing laundry, picking up the phone, going outside, etc..)
more examples i can think of:
- learning a new language or instrument
- breaking in a new pair of shoes
- using new hair products
- going to the airport
- quitting anything bad for you
- starting a painting and staring at a plain canvas
- getting to know new people
- replying to emails
self-flagellation as distraction from starting
how do you deal with accomplishing nothing over something? that seems like it would be harder to deal with than failing to be perfect, which is the default condition of all human beings from day 1
if you know there are coyotes and you aren’t protecting your cats then you’re basically feeding the cats to coyotes
if you know that you can’t produce perfect work but you keep attempting what you can’t do, then you’re basically feeding your output/labor into the void.
the problem in both cases is a kind of denial. a refusal to properly come to terms with the reality one is inhabiting. imagine a skinny guy going to the gym, struggle to deadlift 500kg, then calls it a day. and then he DMs me being like, “I know that building strength is about progressive overload, but I can’t bear the idea of lifting just 30kg. how do you deal with not being able to deadlift 500kg?”
my brother you are asking a completely useless question designed to distract you
the self-flagellation is actually designed to distract from facing reality. the reality is actually so basic and so simple it feels “insulting to their intelligence”. there’s no elaborate complex puzzle to solve here. they just need the courage to cut the crap and face reality
btw this might be a bit of an abrupt tone switch but i think a strong approach to addressing all of this is actually to do frivolous stuff. goofing off, ideally with other goofy friends. write “badly” on purpose, as a bit, for a laugh. no need to tie your self-worth to it